Wrong to leave an infant for 7 hours?
September 27th, 2009 | 
Author: Hi,
So my boyfriend and I will be visiting my family in Hawaii and we are getting a kick a*s room at a luxury 5 star hotel (Hilton Waikoloa). We are taking a trip to the Big Island from the island of Oahu just the two of us and our son for 3 nights. Then we will be returning to Oahu. I don’t know anyone or have family on the Big Island so I am interested in hiring a babysitter to stay in the hotel room with our son for 7 hours. The hotel will provide a babysitter. The resort has a spa and dolphins and snorkeling and waterslides and waterfall caves with jacuzzi tubs hidden in them and so many other cool things. I wanted my finacee and I to be able to enjoy for 1 day which will not be possible with an infant.
You can’t ride a waterslide carrying an infant and you can’t snorkel with an infant and go through pounding waterfalls or sit in 105 degree hot tubs with an infant. I badly want to hire a babysitter to stay with our son for 7 hours and my fiancee is totally 100% against it. We will be on hotel grounds half the time and then maybe go to the beach and dinner the other half.
Our son is not even born yet (we will be going on the trip when our son is about 6 months old) and he has made it clear to me I am going to be a stay at home mom until our son is in school and that our son is never ever to be left with anyone other than a family member or very close and trusted friend. Which means no babysitters ever. I am glad to be a stay at home mom but the no babysitter EVER policy seems strict to me.
He said it is wrong and a very bad idea and I don’t share his feelings. I feel that because it is a sitter the hotel will provide it seems safe. I do not feel mean about it either because it will litterally be his very first time ever being without me or his father or his grandmothers. It will probably be one of our only chances to have that nice time in a luxury hotel because the trip and hotel are a gift from family. Not something we could ever afford otherwise.
Do you think that it is mean and dangerous to leave a young infant with a sitter for 7 hours or do you feel he is overreacting? Opinions would be appriciated. Thanks!!!
to above person, he will not be alone for 7 hours, of course with a sitter. I just meant alone with a sitter. And it is not damn close to child abuse to leave any child alone it IS child abuse and I’d never do that.
you have to be very cautious with whom your child is under the eye of.
I recently watched a thing on television where the parents had a nanny babysit the kids and they went to dinner on resort grounds and check on the kids every thirty minutes. The last time they went to check on their babies-they were gone. MISSING. So you need to be very cautious.
Personally I would never do that-trust no one. That is how I see it. It’s your decision though not mine. I just don’t feel as the sitters there would meet my standards. My baby is far too precious.
hope this helps 
Posted in snorkeling oahu
15 Responses to “Wrong to leave an infant for 7 hours?”
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I didnt bother to read your entire explanation, but leaving an infant alone for 7 hours is pretty damn close to child abuse. Clearly you feel the same way or else you wouldnt have felt the need to write a small essay explaining yourself, just get a babysitter.
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No, I do not. At that age, he should not be 100% dependent on you. If you breastfeed, you can prepare bottles in advance. In high school I sat for a baby near that age.
That said, ask me again in May when my baby is born, I may change my mind.
ADD: Sigh to Taylor who didn’t read the question. She is talking about a sitter. And don’t hire Trey for the job.
ADD: I have to add something about kidnapping and such. First, the overwhelming majority of kidnaps are by people who know the family. Second, crimes against children are lower than they were in the last two decades. They are to the levels they were in th ’70s. In that day and age, nobody thought twice about letting their kids out to play or hiring sitters. Just food for thought.
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Absolutely not.
I mean I absolutely do not think it is wrong!
I think I had fear such as this before my daughter was born and I am certain daddy did too.
When he gets here, things might change.
At six months, he will be content, even with a stranger. Separation anxiety starts around month 8. I don’t think it is bad at all!
Good Luck girl.
If nothing else, daddy can stay at the hotel with him and you can go have a pina colada by yourself!
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you have to be very cautious with whom your child is under the eye of.
I recently watched a thing on television where the parents had a nanny babysit the kids and they went to dinner on resort grounds and check on the kids every thirty minutes. The last time they went to check on their babies-they were gone. MISSING. So you need to be very cautious.
Personally I would never do that-trust no one. That is how I see it. It’s your decision though not mine. I just don’t feel as the sitters there would meet my standards. My baby is far too precious.
hope this helps
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hopefully it will toughen the lil guy up
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Sounds like there are some issues you need to sort out before your baby is born but I will say that no, its not mean or dangerous to leave a 6 month old child with a sitter for 7 hours. People do it all the time. I do think he’s over-reacting. That said, I’m sure by the time your baby is that age, your fiance will be wanting some couple time with you. Maybe just not bring it up again until your baby is born and then bring the subject up.
Hope this advice helps
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Mother of 3
No I think it would be fine just request to see the babysitters credential and work history and that sort of thing. Request to know if back ground check are done on the people whom watch the children! If the hotel can not provide this info then I would say not to leave your child with their services! It your right as a parent to know who is watching your child and their background! As long as you feel comfortable with what you are told and the person they send then I say enjoy the short break away from baby! Good luck!
Edit: Don’t listen to people telling you its child abuse to leave a young child of that age with a sitter or care tender! If it were then no one would return to work in this country for fear of being accused of child abuse! I mean think about it moms go to work and school almost 5 days a week for about 8 hours a day leaving their child with a baby sitter or daycare! Just be sure the hotel has proof of background checks and can prove this person is fit. If you do that you’ll be fine! Good luck again!
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Mom 2.5 (38 weeks)
Taylor is a fucking dumbass.
Trey is an ignorant ass.
And Happy is 100% correct, in my opinion. Your son should not be 100%dependent on you at 6 months. However, you and your fiance need to meet somewhere in the middle on making this decision. You both need to feel respected and comfortable. Not just with this decision, but with every decision in your relationship and parenthood.
Good luck and congrats!!
–J
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Mommy to a princess.
I think its fine… as long as you are not just getting some random person off the street to watch your child. Make sure you know it is childcare provided by the hotel and see if there is any info you can get on the childcare they provide. Sounds like your boyfriend is being a bit over protective, which is not such a bad thing with a little one around. But, even mommys need a break every now and then. And trust me, by the time your baby is 6 months old he will probably be pretty dang anxious to have some alone time with you. You cant have that kid attached to your hip till he goes off to college. Do your research and enjoy!
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Hmm I know how you feel. When my daughter was 5 months old I went to Mauritius for a holiday with my husband and we stayed at this luxury spa resort that really doesnt work if you have an infant along. I had the luck of leaving her with a doting grandmom (my mom) and since she was bottle fed everything was ok.
And my husband is EXACTLY like yours on the stay-at-home mom/babysitter situation, in his opinion he wont trust anyone else except me or close family. No strangers.
I can understand your need for some me-time, its going to be a well-deserved break in the middle of sleepless nights. You will rediscover yourself and thats a welcome change. No man will understand that.
But leaving an infant with a total stranger? I dont know. I would have doubts about this, and i think you feel the same, which is why you wrote here…. something doesnt feel right. in all probability, even if you did go, you’d be soooo messed up inside constantly thinking of baby that you really wouldnt have much fun, i was half like that on my trip and my baby was with my mom!!
think it over…. maybe you could cut short your time limit to 3-4 hours, cut out some of hte activities, yes you may not get this chance again but balance is everything, if you get some fun but also feel good about leaving baby for a short while everything works out. plus your husbands feelings will probably also colour the couple trip you have planned anyways so even he may feel better if he knows its for a shorter period of time. he sounds like a good, caring dad!
good luck!!
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If the hotel will provide a sitter then there would be information on hand if anything happened. I am sure that the hotel would not give you someone they knew nothing about. Can you split up the activities so you are not gone in 1 whole block? I think that if you tell your fiancee that he can stay in the room while you go and enjoy these things he may change his tune. You will feel the same way as your fiancee in the first couple of months but if you smother the baby too much then you will find it difficult to leave him with someone in case of an emergency.
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Mother of 2
Why is your boyfriend being so stubborn about this? Maybe you can tell him that he can stay in the hotel and watch the baby and you will go out. Raising a child is a team effort on both parents part, not a dictatorship. You have as much right to decide on these things as he does. Maybe after the baby is born he will lighten up a little, he might just be nervous. I do not think it is wrong to have a sitter, after all you are going on VACATION.
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6months old? i wouldnt leave my daughter with a stranger at 6 months old not a chance i think he is too young. i leave my 4 month old with my mum for the afternoon n i still ring her 500 times….?
no sorry i wouldnt do that, i would say well i have a son who comes 1st, i know its nice 2 have a break, maybe for like 1hr-2hrs yes but not 7hrs no.
bet of luck xx
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niamhs mammy
No,do not leave your baby alone with someone you do not know really well. Do not do it!!
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A Mother of a 30 & 27 yr old! Experienced:)
well you could leave him with family and just vacation together
or
since you are planning on being on the resort grounds the majority of the time, why couldn’t you pop in every so often to check on your child, and let them know that you may show up unexpected; if they are not the nicest ppl they will still be on their toes bc they know you might show up any time (and do it several times)..
i also would want to talk to the resort manager beforehand and find out how they screen ppl and what type of background checks they do before they hire the sitters….how long has your particular sitter been there, any complaints against him/her..what are their qualifications…are they certified in infant cpr/current on first aid, etc….if you have a high powered baby monitor and if the sitter watches in your room (i have never left my dd in a similar situation so idk) hook it up, out of sight and you can listen in on what is going on….i would just be extremely cautious if u do leave your baby bc you are entrusting this person with your most precious possession…gl
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edit to add: is there any way you can bring a trusted sitter from home with you? that’s what my fam usually does and it works out, they get time to enjoy everything while you all are with baby and you have a sitter you trust…if you don’t have one, maybe a responsible teenager in the family or close family friends’ teenager?hth
the little extra money that would cost would be well worth my peace or mind, but that is just me…..gl